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Thank you Mom – Lessons we need Moms to teach
a Snapshots of a Disciple Study
Good morning everyone ~ I got injured last weekend, so this is a week later than I intended. But, I did want to express my appreciation (on behalf of many) to Moms. You all give so much of yourself. I admire all the Mom’s that I know – including the ones who like me and those who don’t ~ Why? Because of their seemingly tireless attention to details, numerous forms of sacrifice, and caring for the wellbeing of her little ones – and many times, others they adopt in one way or another
Moms are not super-heroes (they’re just human, and sinful like the rest of us), but they are vital for families! I feel like I have to say that so clearly because our culture attacks ladies in *so many* different ways to discourage them from being who God created them to be: a God-honoring lady, a wife, and a Mom. Moms are good at encouraging when us guys can’t, and they can help us guys to sometimes (oftentimes) see another important angle on someone to help us and them come to an agreement or work together more, if possible, when the only barrier is a misunderstanding. There are many things that you Moms do – and for that I give a hearty THANKYOU! Now… not to flatter you too much, I do need to briefly mention some things Biblically that will both encourage and challenge you. Fair enough? Okay, let’s dig in.
Just a brief note – Mother’s Day is not a Biblical holiday, but that doesn’t bother me much. Because it is a day when (here in the US) we remember to thank our Moms for their many kindnesses and caring. So, just to clear that up.
So, let’s first look at God’s Word concerning the relationship from kids to their Dads and Moms – with a special blessing.
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with promise: ‘that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.’” (Ephesians 6:1-3)
>> Now, before we go too far, let’s look at this very familiar passage for most of us. Only this time, let’s try to see it with fresh eyes. Even as I was reading it, my mind was very aware that many people do not have a God-honoring, Bible-loving Mom. It’s sad, but it’s true – for many. I’m blessed to have a dear Godly Mom and she’s a very rich blessing to me in many more ways that I can possibly count. Just this week, I was able to have wonderful fellowship with me Madre ^_^ ~ I do thank God for her many times a year. ~ Looking at the text, though, I want to note 2 key words: ‘obey’ and ‘honor’. Now, Biblically speaking, the Godly Dad and husband needs to be the leader in the home – to the best of his ability, and we’ll plan to talk more about the Dads at another time. – But, the words ‘obey’ and ‘honor’ do apply to the Mom too. – To obey is obviously to do what she says and to avoid what she warns against. But, the word ‘honor’ means much more than that. Honor means to give appreciation and respect to the Mom, as the Mom. Meaning: learning respectful conversation, not to interrupt as she speaks, and to listen to her counsel and wisdom from her years, and her understanding from Scripture. These are good reminders, yes? For me too. But, let’s not stop there, because as I’ve already mentioned – we need our Moms ~ and there are things that I need to mention that we need Moms to do, for us. – But first, I want to in passing show you a verse that warms my heart when I see it, because I know exactly what Paul, the apostle is saying in it ~ Here’s the text from Romans 16: “Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother and mine.” (Romans 16:13) – I love that! – Paul had older ladies that cared so much for him and helped however they could, that there was at least one lady (who wasn’t even named) who gets an honorable mention in his letter to Rome. And, even more cool to me, is that her honorable mention is in Scripture.
Anyway, that makes me smile… moving forward. Let’s look at some things that we need Mom’s to teach. First, by looking at the Mom and Grandma of Timothy. Sadly I don’t have a grandma like Timothy did, but I know other ladies who are like this. “To Timothy, a beloved son: Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. I thank God, whom I serve with a pure conscience, as my forefathers did, as without ceasing I remember you in my prayers night and day, greatly desiring to see you, being mindful of your tears, that I may be filled with joy, when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also. Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands.” (2nd Timothy 1:2-6)
Lois and Eunice seem to be implied, from the text, that they were the only ones in the family who taught Timothy to fear the Lord and love His Word. The Dad is not mentioned favorable, but these two dear ladies were highly commended – with very few words. Always remember, Moms: your role is vital in society. Not at the office – they can always find someone else. You are *vital* at home. Your husband (if you have one) and your kids *need* you. And to the many of you who are striving to be faithful in your duties there – let me encourage you: God will abundantly reward you: here and there – with more ministry opportunities on Earth and eternal rewards in Heaven!
Let’s now move to Titus, where we see clear teaching of what older ladies and young ladies are to do – from Scripture. “But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: … the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things – that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed…” (Titus 2:1-5)
>> So, now we’re getting into things we need Moms (old and young) to do for all of us. ~ You and I have probably both seen the culture’s rebel sinful thinking and push of psychology all around us. One example: ‘Good girls rarely make history.‘ Yet, this passage of Scripture teaches something completely different: Older ladies – be reverent. Look perfect? No, but don’t be loose and frivolous with life – pleasant, bold in righteousness, moving away from evil things, and doing more and more of things that are good for spiritual growth. ~ And, the next point: we need older ladies to teach the young ladies. Younger ladies are getting bombarded by everything glittery and lots of voices that seek to move them away from seriousness about Scripture and pleasing God with joy, while thinking and dwelling more on the world and sinful pleasures and spiritual distracting entertainment.
“Wives, likewise, be submissive [submit/co-labor] to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive [submit/co-labor] to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror [of evildoers].” (1st Peter 3:1-5)
>> First off, I need to briefly touch on the subject of submission, in the context of Scripture. Though the world consistently tries to compare Biblical Christianity with the evil religion of islam, they have as much in common as Jesus and satan – they don’t. Biblical Christianity teaches modesty and submission – but neither are forced nor evil. Biblically-speaking, both subjects are always handled in Scripture with grace and some flexibility – unlike the rigid and cruel appearance-driven ‘one-size-will-fit-all’ iron mold of this world. God is never cruel. His commands and decrees will never hurt you or me when we submit to holy, beautiful and pure ways. His rules restore dignity – not destroy it with the filth of sin. The world, however – including islam, sets up rules to keep everyone obeying man – with the threat of an iron-fist to enforce them. God’s ways and satan’s are always opposite.
With that said, back to submission – Biblically. In God’s structure: Holy pure God is on top, husbands submits to God and takes care of his wife (loving her completely to the best of his ability) and his family, and teaches others to walk in God’s ways. The wife then has a safe place to nurture, flourish and serve in, and therefore does her best to take care of the home, the kids and tending to the needs of her husband and family, and then from there other things God calls her to do. Wives (or husbands in some cases), if that structure is not remotely similar to what you are experiencing – you are *not* commanded to stay there. Let me say it again clearly: if you (wife/husband) are in a marriage where you are actively being verbally threatened, beaten, physically exploited, or similar – you are *not* commanded to stay in that situation. If that describes you, then Biblically you are released and encouraged to find safety from that somehow. If your husband (or *wife* in husband’s case) has had an sexual affair on you or molested a child or friend and is unrepentant – Biblically, he has broken the marriage covenant and you are free to divorce him and remarry, without fear or shame. If, however, you cannot prove an affair or sexual misconduct, then your only other option is to separate (preferably with your kids) away from him. Remember separation is not the same as divorce, and sometimes it can allow your marriage to be restored and reconciled if your spouse doesn’t have an affair in the time of separation. Please note though, do not hesitate when your life and health is threatened by an abusive husband (or abusive wife). — This is, of course, coming from the context of a Biblical marriage between a husband and wife – man and woman. If you’re in a sexual or ‘marriage’ relationship outside of Biblical marriage, you are in sin and you need to get right as soon as possible, for the well-being of your soul and you and your family. — If you need help with or to get out of an abusive situation, write me and I can put you in contact with someone who can help you.
Aside from that subject, the husband growing in loving his wife and the wife growing in submission to her husband is a bumpy path, but a safe one and a blessed one when doing it Biblically. And teaching ladies and daughters what her Biblical role is in marriage is extremely helpful to and for husbands. That role, dear Moms, is as is older men and fathers teachings sons their role in marriage and leadership.
Now back to the text of 1st Peter, “… Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God…” (1st Peter 3:3-4)
>> Our world constantly tries to keep men and women in a state where their eyes are fixed on temporary pleasures, but that is for (hopefully) soon-coming study on lusts, how to conquer them Biblically and how to stand in a culture with such a tide of evil everywhere. But, back to you Moms – we need you to keep making sure that the world is not distracting you with the glitter of appearances, and that you are teaching the ladies and children in your sphere of influence to do the same. Is it wrong to dress up? No. But when that becomes the focus or highlight of your life, it’s become an idol, and us guys have to watch the subject of appearances too.
So, Older ladies and Moms, we need you to teach younger ladies: reverent in behavior, life, and clothing. And, if you have sons, teach them how to be growing in the same things and how to handle ladies Biblically and properly. If you have ladies in your sphere of influence, keep challenging and encouraging them to grow in thinking Biblically, desiring to please God – not man/woman. And keep praying for encouraging and challenging us guys to be Biblical men, who stay pure so we can stand and preach and teach boldly. Those four things are vital roles you have. So, keep growing in doing them as faithfully as you can! May God bless you richly (despite the trials) as you seek Him.
a grateful son, and growing servant/life-slave of Jesus, SH
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